I fell in love!
During my five months of travelling I met this really amazing girl (no typo, a girl) and after spending all our time together (wahey!) I had to leave to return to London early.

We had the best 24 hours together before I left - it felt like it would never end... and suddenly BAM I was kissing her goodbye at the airport...

So I've been staying up until ridiculous times on the internet now I'm home just talking, laughing, webcamming and reminising with her and everything seems fine until...
I start acting like a total dickhead.

I push her away to see if she'll fight for me, which she invariably does, and I try to pressurise her to break up with me. Why? I don't really know. Maybe it's because we are not practical together- halfway around the world puts a definite strain on us and I think sometimes if maybe it wouldn't hurt this much if we were no longer together. Which is warped because if that happened, I would probably hang myself with an extra strong piece of dental floss.


Perhaps I'm just doing what I do in every relationship- cause problems and tension when they shouldn't exist. Does it make me happier being alone? Do I find solitude in my own misery?

I think so.

Why God Jim Morrison, Why?

I think perhaps I should stop thinking about the problems that the future brings and just focus on the now, what my feelings are now... think like a child, be less concerned with facts, figures and planning and just feel everything.

Hmmmmm. Ok childlike living is going to start right away...

Amen.
x